It was not a complete surprise

It was not a complete surprise – finding pancreatic cancer cells in the lymph nodes, removed during my Whipple procedure, August 14, 2025.  But because they had not shown up on the CT scan done prior to surgery, I gambled the elusive little boogers would not be there.

But the pathology report proved they were, in fact, present, and had migrated away from the tumor on my pancreas.  And in all probability, there were others floating around in my body, just waiting to find a warm cozy place to take up residency, like my liver.

I found myself back where I started – trying to make a decision about which of 2 options I would choose – chemo or do nothing.

For the first one, it took no longer than the time it took me to catch my breath and blurt out – NO CHEMO !! I was told my cancer would forever be recurring somewhere.  So, by signing up for chemo therapy, I would forever be chased, hounded, battered, and weakened by that chemo dragon trying to conquer the cancer.  Why would I choose that options!!!???

I chose HOSPICE. Today, I signed up with Red Willow Hospice in Taos, NM.

Hospice offers a more natural way to pass from this world – relatively pain free. I can stay at home.  I’m ready to go. And when they can no longer manage a pain free existence? BINGO! I still hold that magic ticket which provides me with a one-way passage to paradise (or wherever one goes when they die) - MAID. (Medical Aid in Dying)

Please know this decision was not made lightly. It has been thoroughly discussed with friends and professionals, leading to an easy decision.

We live, we die. That’s just how it is.